Hot Mess: A Journal

Ever noticed someone you really shouldn't have, only to see them every single day? Nicole was minding her business. Quietly. Professionally. Then a presence passes her desk every morning at 9 and nothing is the same again. Hot Mess: A Journal is a funny, tender and honest diary about one woman navigating the slow burn of office attraction, glass-enclosed breakrooms, and the complicated art of simply saying good morning to someone you really shouldn't have noticed. With sharp wit, impeccable style on a budget and more self awareness than she gives herself credit for, Nicole documents what happens when you stop minding your business, and can't quite figure out how to start again.

April 7, 2025: Mr. Gorgeous for No Reason I was working feverishly. Quietly. Minding my own business, if you will. Then, this presence passes before me. A Man. A Gorgeous Man Tall, dark, a touch of gray. Handsome. Perfect jawline. Magnificent beard. Okay, okay, calm down. I lift my weary head, now fully alert. He didn't even glance at me. Unbothered. Unhurried. Who is this man? Broad shoulders. Pressed dress shirt. As he passed my section of the cubicle farm, I noticed he was surrounded by three or four significantly less impressive specimens of the male gender. This scene repeated for weeks at 9 am. The man makes his presence known. Gives us mere mortals not the slightest glance. He turns the corner, vanishing from sight. Normally, my colleagues return. He never did. What does he look like? What do I look like? My wardrobe and makeup are always works in progress. Wrong shade? Pick another. Wrong fit? Time for a shopping trip. I took a trip to the bathroom that first day. I did not like what I saw. Hair? Not what I envisioned. My hair has always been high maintenance. I have always pretended to be low maintenance. Pretending to be low maintenance got me in this predicament. No more. Starting Now. My hair and I will be unapologetically aligned. What if he sees me like this? In these clothes? These shoes? No. No. No 5 There are a few ladies who look absolutely stunning, but they are executives. Vice President of this department. Managing Director of that department. Me? I'm a corporate peon who does the things people know need to be done but lack the bandwidth and the required eye for detail. I save my paychecks and cut back on spending so I can go to the clearance rack of the nearest discount retailer. I now get compliments on my outfits. "You look so cute!" they say. I smile. Humble. Polite.