Riley's Startling Success.

This is the fourth book in the series, following the life and times of Daniel Finbar Riley. Known by most people simply as Paddy, Dan by his wife Rose, and by his closest ex-army friends as Reckless. If you have read the earlier books in this series, then you will already know how Dan Riley has risen from being a fairly quiet working man, to becoming a partner of a large company. A journey full of adventures and fortunate encounters. This book continues from where the previous one, 'Riley's Stunning Progress' left off. If this is your first sample of the Riley books, I would advise you to read the earlier ones to familiarise yourself with the time, place, and environment in which this narrative takes place. All the characters are fictitious, yet believe-able. We all know people just like them. In a very short space of time, Dan Riley has had to adapt to some very great changes in his life, and to his life-style. This series is written to tell how he adjusts, and moves into very unfamiliar territory in the world of commerce, often putting him outside of his usual comfort zone. This has not been an easy transition. I write this book with the presumption that you have read all of the first three, and there are references back to all of the previous book's escapades. If not, then I recommend you take each book in their chronological order.

Riley's Startling Success. Chapter 1: Another Morning After... It was a cold and frosty morning, and a shroud of mist hung over the valley of Nether Boldly, as a tractor and trailer slowly made its way towards the milking bale. The driver was wrapped up well against the cold, as well he needed to be. Bernie had been at the re-union dinner the previous night, and was feeling ever so slightly under par this morning. He had a thumping head, which was unusual for our Bernie, and he wasn't too happy about it. He was on his way to milk his herd of Jersey cows, and give them a good feed of fresh hay. This is an aspect of dairy farming that very few people are aware of. Not a lot of people know that... (I stole that line.) Yet Bernie was not the earliest person up on most mornings. His milk delivery team would have been up and out on their rounds a full hour before Bernie set out. Not today, though. This was Sunday, and they were still tucked up in their beds, which they well deserved to be. This was the only day of the week they could lay in, and they relished it... By the time Bernie had finished his tasks, and washed down the parlour it was getting close to six so he was ready to drop in on his mate Dan Riley to see if he was up and about. He wasn't too confident that he would be, after the previous night... This was a reunion dinner for all of Dan's army mates, plus as many of his friends as he could muster for the night. He was taken totally by surprise when the evenings events were hi-jacked by a certain Eamon Andrews and his Big Red Book. Dan almost stopped the show by refusing to allow it to be televised. After making sure that the whole thing was not being shown on a live TV programme, Dan relented and allowed Eamon Andrews to continue with his story, and what a story it was! So they had the schedule of 'This is your life' played out to the current audience. The Ambassador was an entertainment venue and had their complete programme for the night to play. Of course, this meant that it was a lot later to finish than had been their plan, plus, this was a very big and boozy celebration. It also meant that Dan's life story was told to a lot of people who had never even heard of our man Daniel Riley. He was a modest man, and had always intended to keep his private life just that - private, so this was why he stopped the TV transmission. Bernie stepped quietly in through the back door to find the kettle on the stove and just coming to the boil. "Oi timed that 'un nicely" he said. Dan's voice came from the living room, "Yer tin is in here mate. You can sort the tea while yer in there if yer feel like it." "Arr, all right, moosh. Oi weren't expectin' yer ter be about s'mornin'. 'Ave yer peed the bed then?" Bernie was straight in with the banter, but he should have known better by now. "D'yer want yer biscuit ration or not?" was Dan's response, then, "How's yer head, then?" Bernie winced, and replied, "Oi been better. That were some bluddy do we 'ad last night, wun't it?" Then he added, "Ow come you'm so bright an' breezy s,mornin' then?" Dan grinned. "Can yer remember oi passed yer a beer an' we saluted with it?" Bernie looked at him, puzzled. "Arr, so what, then?" Dan's grin went even wider. "Well now, while Oi had people pilin' beers in front o' me all night, Oi did the same with everyone at our table. So Oi passed on about a dozen pints last night. 2. If Oi'd drunk that lot, Oi'd be halfway ter me grave right now. Oi still had me a decent ration, though." That set Bernie chuckling. "You crafty ol' bugger!" he exclaimed. "Down there fer dancin', Bern." Dan said with a smile. "Oi ain't ready fer the bone-yard yet. How's yer head?" Bernie looked at him with reddened eyes and said, "Tis bangin' a bit moosh. It were a bit loud in there last night. Oi 'ad wondered if they 'ad put summat in their beer." Dan grinned and said, "Oi've got a couple o' aspirins ready. I needed some me-self. Like yer said, it was terrible noisy last night. An' the way Oi had so many people want ter natter to me all night an' all, that's made me head a bit heavy this mornin' too." Dan made another tea, and dispensed the pills. Bernie nodded - not to vigorously, mind, and said "Ta mate." Then he asked, "How's yer missus, then? Yer leavin' 'er ter lie in?" His answer came from the hall door, "Ah'm a sight better that ye's are, ye pair o' boozers. Can Ah get a cup o' coffee, then ma man?" She came to the table and sat opposite Bernie and stared into his face. "Yer eyes look like ye been hit by a train, mon. Are they awfae sore? Ah have some eye drops in ma bag Ah can sort ye with. Hey no?" "Yer still bein' a nurse even on yer day off, then?" he said, "Well if yer reckon yer can work some magic on me eyes, Oi'll let yer. An' thanks." As Dan made her a cup of coffee, she went to her trusty first aid bag, and brought out a small bottle and a dropper. "Now then Bernie, ye can haud yer breath fer a few minutes, fer ye're goin' tae smell like ye've been feedin' yersen from the midden heap, an' Ah'm no riskin' that afore Ah'm gettin' ma coffee, ye ken." "Yer goin' ter 'ave ter be quick, then." Bernie said. "Oi can't 'old me breath fer long." She stared at him and said, "Ye must be gettin' out o' condition, then. a'body can haud their breath fer at least twelve seconds if they're fit." Bernie turned his red eyes to her. "Oi'm a bit short o' that the smornin' after chucking they hay bales around ter feed me ladies, ain't Oi? Ain't yer got no sympathy fer a poor old sod like me, then?" She pushed his head back, and said, "In Ma line o' work we call this 'self inflicted wounds' mister. Now haud yer wheesht while Ah drop this intae ye're eyes. Keep them open while Ah do it, mind, or it will be wasted." Bernie did as he was told, without another word, which made quite a change. With the drops administered, Rose sat back down. Bernie said, "Oo, that do feel nice. A bit cold. like, but it's a lot better, ta." Rose just smiled and took a sip of her coffee. From then the talk moved on to the events of the previous night. Dan was still a bit annoyed that the BBC had surprised him with Eamon Andrews and his 'This is Your Life' programme, but he was resigned to the fact that it was all behind them now. "Oi'm wonderin' how they managed ter put all that lot together without any o' me mates catchin' on." he said. "Any o' my mob would have told me if they had anyone askin' too many questions about me." He looked at Bernie. "You had that bloke at yer milk parlour 'tother day, so he must have been part o' this little lot. What d'yer think, Bern?" He nodded. "Arr. Well Oi weren't goin' ter tell 'im any more than Oi did. We was 'avin' a big re-union do, an' that were all Oi told 'im too." "Yer did the right ting, Bernie me boy. Oi tink they had a lot o' help from them lot at the papers." Dan said. "Then those daft buggers down the pub might have let a few tings out after a few beers, too. They all like ter tell a tale or two when they get loosened up an' have someone with a good ear ter listen. Them reporters from the papers are good at that, so Oi reckon the people doin' research fer that telly job would be good at it an' all" Bernie said, "Arr. Bet yer a pound ter a pinch o' poop we got a lot o' new faces in the pub this dinner. Wass think?" Dan stared at him. "Oi hope yer wrong on that one Bernie, but 3. if there are, Oi'm goin' ter give them very short order. Oi might even set Smitty on 'em." Bernie chuckled at this. Rose said, "If ye do that ye're goin' ter be in the papers again, an' fer all the wrong reasons. Best tae try an' play it all down, ma darlin'." Dan gave her a wry smile. "There talks the voice of reason." he said, "Tank yer, me sweet, Oi needed ter be told, an' yer just did." Rose gave a sigh and said, "Ah dinnae want tae see ye gettin' intae any bother ma man. That's all." Then they settled into a more general discussion about last night's events, and the floor show that they had. This was a full evenings entertainment in itself, which was why they had booked The Ambassador in the first place. As mentioned before, after the intervention of Eamon Andrews, and his programme, everything they had scheduled for the night's entertainment started quite a bit later than usual. This meant that it finished a lot later than they had planned. The management at the Ambassador stated that they felt duty bound to provide the full evening's show, since that was what they had advertised. This meant that it was a very late night indeed. Dan said, "Oi'm wonderin' how many o' the locals are goin' to be up an' about this mornin'. Oi don't tink many o' them would be used to havin' such a late night out." Bernie grinned. "Yer may be right, but Oi wun't count on it." he said. Rose just smiled and said, "Ye'll just have tae wait an' see, hey no?" Dan shrugged his shoulders and said, "Oi suppose yer right,me sweet. Anyway, Oi've a bit of a job to occupy my mind this morning. Oi'll get a fair dose of fresh air at the same time, so that will clear me poor old head a bit." "Wass on then?" Bernie asked. "Nothing too drastic, me mate," Dan replied. "Oi've got some chicken wire ter fit on ter ter the Major's pheasant traps. Six of 'em. Should only take an hour or so." Rose looked up. "Ah've a mind tae come with ye." she said. "Ah could dae with a bit o' fresh air masel' ye ken." "Best get some old clobber on." said Bernie, "An fine summat warm, 'cos it's bluddy freezin' out s'mornin' gal." She gave a smile, then said, "Ah well, maybe not then. Not that Ah'm afeared o' the cold, mind, but Ah dinnae have any old clothes tae wear, do Ah?" Bernie just chuckled. Rose stared at him. "Dinnae say it!" she snapped. Bernie put on his best innocent face and said, "As if Oi would." Then Dan said, "Oi suppose yer all ready fer a dose o' gypsy toast. Oi'm presumin' yer lovely ain't goin' ter be surfacing any time soon, Bern." With a big grin Bernie replied, "Yer right on both counts there mister. Oi need ter wash me 'ands first though. All right?" His 'lovely' wife Helen was well known to enjoy a long lie in whenever she could. She was also quite famous for being one of those people who just go for it - and go for it she did last night. Helen really needed her lie-in this morning. While Dan melted some butter in a large frying pan, Bernie began slicing up a brown loaf quite thinly. Dan whipped up half a dozen eggs, and added his little touch of magic with a few little sprinkles of a some spices. He was very careful not to show them exactly what he was putting in so that he could keep this recipe his own personal secret. He had only ever shared it once, while they were all on their honeymoon together, and he was not giving it away again. Not for love nor money. So there! The next half an hour or so was busy with three happy people enjoying a favourite treat. You can find the secret in my first book; 'The Incredible Fortunes of Riley' - and you can find out for yourself what is so special about such a simple meal. After another cup of tea, Bernie was on his way. Dan finished his cup and went out to sort out what he needed for his job with the pheasant traps. Rose put on a warm coat and joined him. "Ah may no' be much use tae ye fer ye're fixin' ma man, but Ah can keep ye company, hey no?" He grinned and said, "You'll soon find out. Tis a bit to cold ter be only standing about, but yer welcome ter come along." 4. It was only a short walk to the top field. This was where a runaway tractor had wrecked all the pens last autumn. Dan was partly to blame for this, so he felt a bit of an obligation to help repair the damage. He had already made the pens, so fitting the mesh to each of them completed the task. It took him a little over an hour, and by this time Rose was stamping her feet, and doing a bit of a dance to try and fend off the cold. It was a short, very brisk walk back to the house, and as soon as they were inside the door Rose grabbed Dan and said, "Ah need tae be warmed up, ma man, an' Ma feet are freezin'. D'ye have any ideas fer me?" Dan grinned. He knew where this was leading. "Oi tink yer goin' ter need a dry pair o' socks fer yer feet." he said, "So maybe we'll go upstairs an' see what yer need." Rose grinned back, and put on a slightly mocking voice, "Och, what a good idea." Within a few minutes they were out of their clothes, and under the blankets. Of course, this is no surprise to my regular readers. Neither is the fact that this is the point where we draw a discrete veil over their activity over the next half hour. Oh yes we will! *** Feeling comfortably warm and very cosy, they went back downstairs and Rose made them each a hot drink. They sat close together on the sofa while they drank it. There was no need to talk. They simply sat there contented with this quiet moment together. It was Rose who eventually spoke first. "Hey now, yon Bernie must be quite off colour this morning. Did ye notice he hardly touched the biscuits?" "But he did get trough five slices o' me gypsy toast, ma sweet," dan replied, "So he's not suffering." She chuckled and said, "Aye. Ah suppose so." Then their focus turned to the ritual Sunday mid-day session at the local pub. Dan was expecting some kind of reception at The Old Grey Mare today. He was curious to find out how half of the regulars had been able to book into the Ambassador without him getting wind of it. Also, how did they manage to afford it? There was only one way to find out. They put warm clothes on and set off down the hill to drop in at Bernie's cottage, as was the usual habit. They found Bernie fussing over a rather pale looking Helen. It was immediately obvious that Helen had a fairly heavy hangover and was not too happy about it. Rose said, "Ye're goin' tae need one o' they magic potions o' Charlie's. Hey no?" Helen turned a pair of bleary eyes in her direction. "I'm not sure I can make it." she said. They all looked at each other. Then Helen gave Bernie, a pleading look. "Do we have ter carry yer, then?" Dan asked. "Oh bluddy hell, I'm coming." she said, "I'm just a bit slow this morning, look you." So with Bernie supporting Helen on one side, and Rose on the other, they crossed the road to the pub. Dan held the door open for them and they stepped into the lounge. Right away, the room fell silent. Dan looked around and said, "Does that mean yer all been talking about us then?" Smitty spoke up. "Guilty as charged, Reckless." I should mention here that all of Dan's former army mates called him Reckless, a name he earned while taking a few calculated risks in his service. (This is for any new readers, my regular readers already know this... ) Dan looked round the room. All of their friends were there; Smitty with Mew and Nellie and Phillip, Boggy and Pat, Smokey and Annie, Izzie with Sparky, and Shifty. At the next table were; Jazz and Winnie, with Tommo, and Pinky with Liz. "Loo