How We Came to be Here

A vampire, a witch and a sasquatch walk into a bar… Comedic fantasy / Vampires / Witches / Sasquatches Three unlikely characters share an evening in an English pub telling their respective stories, each of which culminate in how they came to be sat there together over a drink. These three novellas link together in a set of light-hearted tales, proving, of course, once and for all, that the world is full of supernatural beings hiding their identities from an unsuspecting public.

Narrator: An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar… Hold on a moment – NO WAY. So okay, I know, that’s all a bit predicable. In which case, how about this instead: A vampire a witch and a sasquatch walk into a bar – better? I hope so, and now let’s picture the scene. It’s night – it has to be, otherwise – vampire – poof! But no one’s looking at him anyway. After all why would they? There’s an eight-foot sasquatch walking in next to him for goodness sake. All heads turn to the big, hairy guy. What’s he doing in an English bar? How did he get here? Didn’t someone notice him at immigration? Perhaps they thought he was an extra from the latest Sci-Fi film or something. Of course, we want to hear about the others too. It’s not every day a vampire orders a Guinness. I have to say, he’s looking a bit pale, perhaps he needs the iron – wait a minute, what am I saying? Of course he’s pale, he’s a vampire – he’s dead! And what’s a self-respecting witch doing in such company? Maybe she’s done mixing with a load of ‘hippy-go-lucky’, (no I didn’t mis-spell that – I meant hippy), coven members with all their herbs and crystals and chanting. Yep, I think I’d rather spend my time with a vamp and a squatch too. ***** The night moves along and the unlikely group of companions sit around a table telling their respective stories. Nobody’s watching them any more. So typically British, the rest of the clientele shrug the matter away with that ‘seen it all before’ approach, and bend their thoughts to their drinks and nibbles. Talking of ‘nibbles’ the vampire is about to begin his story…